PJ
Spoofs the Sept.2001 Beaches By-election
PJ the Cat Covers the Toronto 2000 City Election
Read Strange Election Updates from PJ the Cat
- Failed Therapy
Behind Lastman Debate Fears
- Lastman Campaign
Team Fed Dogfood
- Disero's Marijuana
Taverns a Scam
- Statue of Liberty
Lastman to Grace Re-developed Waterfront
- Lastman Fears
Composter Trip
- Falling Moose Kill
Campaign Worker
- Lastman to Poster
City Garbage Cans
- Moose Key Chains
made by Sweatshop Labour
- Mel/Fantino Push
Graffiti Crackdown
- Another Limousine
Scandal
- Kyle Rae in Campaign
Condom Scandal
- Megacity Election
Debate Replaced by an Evening with Mel
- Hobo Runs For School
Trustee in Ward 7
- Police Helicopter
Rescues Homeless Mayoral Candidate
- Furor as Bulldozers
Prepare to Demolish Toronto Welfare Offices
- Netizens Furious
After Lastman Photo Shuts Down Internet
- Lastman may be
Charged in June 15th Legislature Riot
- Kyle Rae Campaigning
for Nude Beach Olympic Volleyball
- Gays - Lastman Hurting
the Cause by not Coming Out
- Moose Meters to
be Part of Mel's Election Reform Plan
- Female Councillors
to Pose Nude to Raise Funds for Child Poverty
- Mel Haunted by Garbage
Bag Ghosts
- Mulroney forms Grassroots
State of Toronto Committee
- Councillor attacked
by Pit Bulls
- Tap Team Walker
and Walker Run for Council
- Fidel Castro to
Endorse Megacity Election Candidates
Failed Therapy Behind Lastman Debate Fears
- Nov.1.2000
… breaking story from PJ the Cat
There has been much recent speculation in the press about Mayor Mel Lastman's fear of debating the other mayoral candidates. Despite having what the media calls an insurmountable lead, Lastman has been hiding behind police, making excuses and keeping his itinerary secret as he tries to duck street encounters with opposing candidate Tooker Gomberg.
During a recent mall walkabout Lastman's handlers were described as white with fear as they rushed him away from another attempt by Gomberg to get him involved in an on-the-street debate.
C4LD member Ann Fernie addressed media at the scene, saying, "This election is supposed to be about bringing citizens into the tent of megacity democracy. Now Lastman is saying that even the mayor should be on the outside somewhere, ignoring the issues and the public."
So is Lastman undemocratic? Perhaps, but a leak to this site shows another possibility. A feline source from a new therapy centre in North York tips us to another explanation for Lastman's behaviour. Lastman's dull rope-a-dope game may really have to do with therapy he received recently.
A few months back Lastman feared that his marriage was falling apart. Unable to cope he signed on for therapy. The method was not traditional. Instead of a couch his African doctor immersed him in a hot salt bath and prodded him with bamboo-tipped acupuncture needles during the session.
Lastman opened up to this treatment, releasing his deepest fears, anger and childhood trauma in a long stream of Freudian babble. He left feeling like a million dollars, only to find a new problem surfacing while trying to record his election ads.
During a session on policing issues, a key word caused a sudden regression to an infantile therapy state. In seconds Lastman was weeping, kicking and babbling. Regrettably he revealed things about his marriage, his mother and his sexual hang-ups.
The man is a walking time bomb, says our source. It's no
wonder that they won't let him debate and are rushing him away from Gomberg.
---------
Lastman Campaign Team Fed Dogfood
- Oct.18.2000
…breaking story from PJ the Cat
New statistics show a big increase in food bank use. Mayor Mel Lastman is one of those food bank users.
If you followed the last election you'll remember the scandal that came out when food supposedly destined for the needy got served at a Lastman dinner. Now it has happened again in a worse way, and it upset many people at a Lastman fundraiser.
The sordid tale began when a truck carrying a shipment to the Daily Bread Food Bank got diverted and arrived at a hall with the caterers near Lastman Square. Tins unloaded from the truck were labelled as jellied chicken and used with snack crackers and olives at the fundraiser.
As the guests mingled many of them enjoyed the chicken-flavoured snacks. Hillary Weston was heard asking her husband Galen if the wonderful chicken snacks were sold at Weston outlets.
"I'm sure we have them," he said.
"Perhaps not," said Mel Lastman as he revealed that the snacks are a recipe of his wife Marilyn. "We feed those to the campaign team regularly," he said.
By 8 p.m. the fundraiser was looking like a large success and it would have ended in that vein had it not been for John Ralston Saul. Biting into one of the chicken crackers, Saul suddenly exclaimed, "My God! This is the same stuff I feed my dog!"
All eyes went to Ralston Saul and the cracker he held. Many people suddenly realized that they had already eaten dog food. A rush for the washrooms ensued with one person vomiting on the floor next to Lastman.
John Andersen, a spokesperson for Cara Corp says that the Lastman people didn't really eat dog food. The jellied chicken is in fact made from genetically modified soybeans, hormonogenized chicken fat and a number of other artificial ingredients.
Andersen concluded saying, "Yes dogs like the product, as they do many of our products."
Disero's Marijuana Taverns a Scam
- Oct.6.2000
From PJ the Cat
I became very upset today after picking up the latest issue of the Annex Gleaner and reading the article "Seaton Village Man Wants Marijuana Referendum."
The gist of it is that a man named Jay Blair is working with Betty Disero as she aims for re-election in Davenport. Blair wants a municipal referendum based on the 1864 Temperance Act. But his referendum is on marijuana and he claims that if the public votes for it the feds are legally bound to license his Marijuana Taverns.
Blair smokes dope to kill back pain and it should be noted that he is very much using this election to further his own company, Joint Hempstock Inc. He has applied for the Health Canada contract to provide medical Marijuana.
It is questionable as to why Disero is aiding a man whose motives are personal profit. Especially when there is a better alternative.
And that alternative is PJ the Cat's genetic marijuana clinics. Grown hydrophonically in the rocks deep in the Adams Mine, my pot is a genetic cross with catnip. It smells better, smokes smoother, contains no carcinogens and is much more potent. Not only does it kill pain, it kills everything.
So where is Councillor Disero when I need her support?
Nowhere that where. And that's where you'll be if you smoke that shitty
weed of hers.
--------
Statue of Liberty Lastman to Grace Re-developed
Waterfront
Officials from Toronto Bid, Mayor Mel Lastman and an assortment of other major players in Toronto's Waterfront and Olympic Development plan were on hand today at Harbour Castle for the unveiling of the first scale model of the plan.
As the sprawling model (four tabletops
in size) was unveiled, Actor Al Waxman delivered the following inspiring
words. "Imagine the view as you sail in on the blue waters of Lake Ontario.
Coming out of the morning mist to see a waterfront wonderland. The Olympic
Village sparkles in the sunlight like a beautiful toy. New sports complexes,
a marine land and housing developments surround it like perfectly placed
building blocks, and all of it rests in environmentally pure meadowlands.
But that is not all, because right
before you at the edge of the water is the crown jewel of this development
- our statue of Liberty Lastman!"
Larger than New York's Statue of Liberty, Toronto's Liberty Lastman will raise a combined Freedom/Olympic torch. As a tourist attraction it is expected to be a big draw long after the 2008 Olympics are over.
The reaction at the unveiling was anything but ordinary. The crowd remained silent and awed at first, and then they applauded exuberantly as Mel Lastman spoke.
"I'd like to thank Al for the brilliant introduction. I'd also like to mention that Al is writing the inscription for the plaque to be mounted on the Liberty Lastman. We had retained Margaret Atwood, but her version was much like the New York inscription and we felt that that sort of language would draw all sorts of riff raff to our fair city.
We have also built security into the plan for the Liberty Lastman. Protected by surveillance cameras and a 24-hour hotline, it will also be patrolled by mounted officers. A helicopter port near the top will allow police helicopters to land and more cameras built into the torch will aid police in surveillance of the entire waterfront area.
In the Liberty Lastman we have managed to combine a tourist attraction with liberty and security. But that's not all. Right now I would like to have Police Chief Julian Fantino tell you more about the plan."
"Imagine the view as our police boats
sail in on the blue waters of Lake Ontario. Coming out of the morning mist
in our helicopters we will see a waterfront wonderland. The Olympic Village
sparkles in the sunlight like a beautiful toy as we study the meadows with
our cameras . . . "
……………………….
Lastman fears Edmonton Composter trip
Mayor Mel Lastman will visit Edmonton next week to view revolutionary technology that turns garbage into valuable compost. It is not clear why Mel is making the trip when he is currently pushing council to finalize a deal with Rail Cycle North on Thursday that would see Toronto's trash shipped 600 kilometres north for disposal in a controversial water-filled mine site near Kirkland Lake.
In search of further details
I have jumped a fence and I am now listening at Lastman's window. So far
I've heard him say, "If the Adams contract doesn't go through it will be
criminal. I keep having nightmares about our parks being filled with stinky
garbage. Sure I think we can learn a lot from Edmonton, but I want works
commissioner Gutteridge out front of me at all times. I've heard terrible
stories about people falling into vats in those composters. Case Ootes
says he was there two years ago and when he looked into one of the tanks
he saw a hand and a squeegee floating on the top."
--------
Falling Moose Kill Campaign Worker
A United Way fundraiser turned sour last night when a moose fell from the sky, killing a man.
The plastic moose was being towed across Toronto by helicopter to a new location when it broke loose and fell. United Way volunteer Herbie Johnson was cutting a cake at the Bloor & Spadina JC hall when the moose crashed through a window and bounced on top of him. A coroner's report lists the cause of death as blows to the chest area consistent with those that would be caused by hooves.
Herbie's funeral is tomorrow at . . .
--------
Lastman to Poster City Garbage Cans
Mel Lastman's election team has come up with lightning fast damage control on the garbage issue. Under attack from a hundred directions over his plan to send Toronto's garbage North, Lastman will move into damage control by advertising on garbage cans.
Large metal Recycling bins have sprouted across Toronto over the last year. Often featuring pizza and real estate ads on their sides.
The Lastman Team has now decided
that putting Mel's election signs out as ads on the garbage cans is an
ingenuous way of linking him to recycling and cleanliness - thus easing
the fears of voters when he comes under attack over his plans for the city's
trash.
--------
Moose Key Chains made by Sweatshop Labour
- Sept.2000
A week ago Mel Lastman looked invincible in his campaign for re-election as Toronto's mayor. The media was eating out of his hand and politicians like MP John Nunziata were begging for free samples of his moose key chains. The novelty chains say I Love Toronto in Mel's voice when squeezed.
Things began to unravel for Mel today. Back in Toronto from the Olympics, he visited a local high school on Jarvis Street and handed out some of his moose chains. One of the students to receive a moose chain was Mary Wong of Students Against Sweatshops, and she promptly identified the chains as products of sweatshop labour.
Speaking to reporters, Mary pointed out fringing on the chains that is a combination of rodent and seal fur. Using a magnifier she identified tiny stitching that indicates the chains are manufactured by child labour in Thailand. Working in subhuman conditions with backs bent 16 hours a day, these children often perish before the age of fifteen.
Caught by surprise, Mel could only stutter. "They aren't from Thailand. Blain brought them in from Japan. He was going to sell them at the 2008 Olympics."
The Lastman Campaign Team is now
in damage control mode and Tom Long has been brought in to clear up any
confusion regarding the moose chains and their origin.
--------
Mel/Fantino Push Graffiti Crackdown
Joined by Police Chief Julian Fantino, Mayor Mel Lastman stopped on Queen Street West today to announce a new phase of his law and order re-election campaign. The phase is a city crackdown on graffiti.
Lastman and Fantino strode into an alley and through dense smog and a swirl of litter that included campaign flyers and handouts for the Nov 13th election. At the back of the alley Mel stopped at a brick wall and pointed at a huge "Killjoy Wuz Here" message spray painted on the one part of the wall that was not plastered with his own re-election signs.
Addressing the camera's, Fantino told the media that these "so-called artists are really criminals and the proper place for them is jail."
"They’re dirty, like squeegee kids,"
Mel added. "The alleys they work in are soaked in pee and we have to clean
it up."
---------
Another Limousine Scandal
City Councillors and Mayor Mel Lastman are once again being accused of abuse in regards to the city's limousine service.
This morning a City Hall employee leaked news to the Toronto Sun regarding a limousine booked to ferry Lastman and two city councillors to Car Free Day. The limo service is scheduled to pick up Lastman, Howard Moscoe and George Mammoliti at Metro Hall. The three will be outfitted in jogging clothes and plan to exit the car a block from Little Italy so they can jog to the Car Free Day celebration.
Staff at Lastman's office refused
to comment on the issue. Howard Moscoe did comment and he says he still
plans to attend the event.
--------
Kyle Rae in Campaign Condom Scandal
City officials were called to the Club Toronto Baths this evening after a local resident complained about printed material contained in free condoms. Handed out in certain city locations the free condoms are part of the city's public health plan. Each handout now contains a tiny booklet with instructions on how to use a condom, and it was the booklet that drew the complaint.
The city's chief electoral officer will be investigating a tiny photo and election message from Councillor Kyle Rae on the last page of each booklet.
Rae's opponent for council, Angus
Robbie called the booklets "an abuse of city funds" and wants the printing
expenses added to Rae's campaign financial statement.
--------
Megacity Election Debate Replaced by an Evening
with Mel
News that MP John Nunziata will not be running for mayor
against Mel Lastman has led to the cancellation of a planned debate.
The debate will be replaced by a lighter show called An
Evening With Mel. The event will air on public television and The Toronto
Star will host it.
While outlining the event, The Toronto Star's John Honderich
said, "Yes there are seventeen other candidates for mayor, but none of
them are millionaires and none of them are pushing our plan for waterfront
development. We see no reason for Mel Lastman to debate any of them."
Though there will be no debate, Mel will be put to the
test by a select panel that will ask tough, no nonsense questions in regards
to his plans for Toronto.
Panel members have been chosen from a group of top Torontonians
who attended Mel's Toronto Vision Workshops earlier in his term as mayor.
The panel will be headed by Atom Egoyan, and will include,
David Crombie, Ken Dryden, Anne Golden, Greg Gatenby, Sam Sniderman, Moses
Znaimer, Allan Tonks and George Weston .
---------
Hobo Runs For School Trustee in Ward 7
Radio, TV and print media journalists descended on a vacant
lot in Ward 7 today to interview a new a school trustee candidate. In past
elections trustee candidates received scant attention. But this time around
most trustee spots have been left open, putting a sharper focus on those
few who do run.
On arrival most of the media people were confused as to
why the candidate's home address was a vacant lot. A few minutes later
the candidate, William (Willie) Cooke emerged from a lean-to construction
of old boards and tin sheets and cleared the matter up.
Surprised reporters looked on as Willie announced that
he is in fact the same Willie Cooke who is known as King of the Toronto
hobos. "I never went to school or the dentist in my whole life," Willie
said. "But I've always wanted to. Then a week ago while rummaging in a
Dumpster, I found a copy of the ward paper and saw that they were lookin'
for a school trustee. I figure myself a natural for the job, even though
it don't pay much, even for a hobo."
When asked why he thought himself a natural, Willie said,
"Kids and me have always been as thick as flies on horse dung, and with
me in there they can be with someone who's learning right along with them."
Willie revealed that the subsidized cafeteria at the school
board was also a major factor in his decision to run. "I used to eat from
the leavings out back of there and it was darn good stuff. Not only that,
but the prices inside are low enough that I can rustle up the jingle to
pay in just few minutes of panhandling."
--------
Police Helicopter Rescues Homeless Mayoral
Candidate
Homeless candidate for mayor, Kevin Clarke thought it would
be another uneventful night campaigning for the homeless vote. Deep in
the Don Valley, Clarke, wearing his traditional colored blanket cape, was
negotiating with police officers that were threatening to destroy a tent
city by the river.
Homeless witness Dave Bromell says Clarke was walking
back from the cruisers when he slipped and fell down an embankment into
the raging waters of the Don. This was an area of rapids and pollution
with splashes of brown foam leaping high into the air. As Clarke struggled
for his life, police officers present decided that entering the dirty water
to save Clarke would be too risky.
They then radioed for the helicopter.
It raced across the city, zooming in on the area with
a searchlight so powerful that it lit the entire Don Valley. Switching
to infrared beams the pilots were able to locate Clarke and lower a rope
ladder to him.
Clarke climbed the ladder to safety and quickly recovered.
He was flown to a downtown hospital were he was treated for minor scrapes
and bruises.
Retiring councillor Tom Jakobek was quick to criticize
the rescue. "Clarke was not in trouble at all," says Jakobek. "And he didn't
fall. He waded out into the water. Once rescued he was flown downtown to
a homeless shelter that just happened to be the next stop on his election
tour." A frowning Jakobek concluded, "This is just more police media spin
and I am suspicious of Kevin Clarke. He hated police yesterday, but since
holding talks with Julian Fantino and Craig Bromell he's been flashing
all kinds of money and speaking out in favour of helicopters and Community
Action Policing."
--------
Furor as Bulldozers Prepare to Demolish Toronto
Welfare Offices
The last time Mike Harris' Minister of Community and Social
Services, John Baird passed new safety standards it led to the costly demolition
of school playgrounds across the city. Now a new furor has developed over
more new standards okayed by Baird.
Experts say the standards mean Toronto's welfare agencies
are unsafe and must be immediately demolished.
Worried by the possibility of lawsuits from injured welfare
recipients, city council has given the green light for bulldozers to move
in on Monday.
Though many residents are furious, saying council acted
without consultation, support for the move on council is unanimous.
"It is wise to act quickly on safety concerns," said council
candidate Gail Nyberg.
Vacationing in Mexico, Social Services Minister Baird
was not available for comment.
---------
Netizens Furious After Lastman Photo Shuts
Down Internet
Mel Lastman is up to his old tricks again. During his term
of office many net users complained about the Mayor replying to e-mails
by having his letters scanned and sent out as large graphics.
This time Lastman really did it by having his campaign literature
scanned and including a huge photo of himself standing beside a moose.
The ultra hi resolution photo and letter went out to twenty thousand people
on the Internet as a one-gigabyte Windows .bmp file that shut down every
mail server in the city.
Staff is now working overtime handling complaints and
attempting to get the mail moving.
--------
Lastman may be Charged in June 15th Legislature
Riot
In a few days Toronto Intelligence police hope to win a
ruling that will allow them to use media footage of the June 15th anti
poverty riot at Queen's Park. If police win there may be more charges and
sources say one person worried about being charged is Mayor Mel Lastman.
Staff at the CBC viewed their film intensely after the
incident, and in one scene they enhanced it to get a better view of one
man. Wearing a black strip of cloth over his face and a hooded sweater,
the man was vigorously engaging horseback police. Some CBC staff gasped
when the close-up showed the man's amazing resemblance to Lastman.
Lastman's long-standing feud with Mike Harris has been
an on and off thing and a second piece of evidence has his staff worried.
Paint spots found on Mel's jogging outfit are of the same type of ordinary
white house paint that police seized at the home of OCAP organizer Stefan
Philippa.
Will Lastman be charged with tossing paint balls at police?
Should Lastman be arrested now, it could be a blow to
his law and order campaign
--------
Kyle Rae Campaigning for Nude Beach Olympic
Volleyball
Our Olympic bid is in danger of failing through its mediocrity
and Councillor Kyle Rae has come up with a way to spice it up. Rae wants
the Olympic Volleyball events to be hosted at Toronto's nude beach. "The
beach is accessible," Rae said, "and just imagine the promotion it would
get when people around the world watch nude Olympic volleyball live from
Toronto."
--------
Gays - Lastman Hurting the Cause by not Coming
Out
Sources in the gay community say Mayor Mel Lastman is hurting
the cause by not coming out. "It is well known that Lastman is gay," the
sources say. "Sure he participates in the parade, but only as a juvenile
publicity stunt where he squirts people with his water gun. It is now time
for the mayor to mature and come out publicly with the truth on his sexual
orientation."
--------
Moose Meters to be Part of Mel's Election
Reform Plan
Mayor Mel Lastman has dropped his
plans to install beggar meters on street corners in a bid to stop aggressive
panhandling. His new plan is to install Moose Meters in a bid to stop aggressive
panhandling by Mayoral Candidates.
Many people have complained about
the unfairness of a mayoral race where only millionaires can run and get
media coverage. To correct this grave situation Mel will be installing
Moose Meters on city street corners. The antlered meters will have multiple
heads, each stamped with the name of a mayoral candidate. Citizens who
want to donate to a certain candidate can put money in his/her meter. Under
the new laws candidates will not be able to raise money in any other way.
The money raised through the meters
will be collected by the city and turned over to the entitled candidates.
The first Moose Meter is to be installed at Bloor and Yonge.
"These Moose Meters will insure
a fair election and guarantee that candidates have grass roots support,"
says Mel.
---------
Female Councillors to Pose Nude to Raise Funds
for Child Poverty
A photo shoot took place today at
a secret waterfront location. Present were City Council's female incumbents.
All of them completely nude and ready to pose for shots that will be in
a new calendar.
The city-funded calendar will be
sold to raise money to combat child poverty.
This first photo session reportedly
started well then went sour when a prop moose was unveiled and Mayor Lastman
arrived in the nude, demanding that he be featured as the calendar's centrefold.
"The guy's a showboat," said one
angry councillor. She also noted that his campaign manager, a beer company
executive, appeared to have been sampling his own merchandise.
--------
Mulroney forms Grassroots State of Toronto
Committee
Former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney
was in town today. As well as plugging a new book on Free Trade, Mulroney
stopped off at City Hall to introduce his new citizens group to the public.
Mulroney's State of Toronto Committee
is composed of a grassroots group of corporate executives and developers
that will push to recreate Toronto as a US State.
Mulroney got the idea after seeing
a CBC documentary on the Province of Toronto and city-state ideas.
"A State of Toronto is the best
of all worlds," Mulroney said. "As part of the USA we will share in their
economic boom while dual citizenship will allow us to remain a Canadian
province."
Though many people are skeptical
about the idea catching fire, Mulroney points out that Canadians from all
walks of life, even people like Maude Barlow, are saying that we can't
fight off the USA for much longer. "Right now we are testing the waters
with this idea. And hopefully these waters aren't part of Meech Lake."
--------
Mel Haunted by Garbage Bag Ghosts
Mayor Mel Lastman is having doubts
about his controversial plan to send Toronto's garbage by train to Adam's
Mine in Kirkland Lake. The doubts arise from bad dreams and a recent supernatural
experience.
"I keep dreaming about these people
following me," says Mel. "They are wearing garbage bags with their heads
poking out and their faces are blue and dead like zombie faces. The dream
has recurred so often it's hard for me to sleep. Just this week, due to
gridlock, I had to stay overnight at the King Edward. The dream started,
I awoke and then I felt something lying down beside me in the bed. When
I looked a garbage bag was there. I screamed and ran out of the room."
---------
Councillor attacked by Pit Bulls
Early this Saturday morning Councillor
George Mammolitti got out his weed whip and cleared off a vacant city lot.
Shortly after that his supporters arrived, followed by the media. As the
cameras locked on him, Councillor Mammolitti unveiled a large cage containing
20 cats recently trapped by his supporters.
"We have now trapped 5,675 nuisance
cats in the Ward," Mammolitti told reporters. "These 20 are the last. Once
we have them in the humane society, our cat trapping program can be ruled
a success."
Unfortunately for Mammolitti, a
neighbour was letting two pit bulls out doors as he was speaking. The dogs
spotted the cats and ran howling across the road. Seeing the bloodthirsty
canines charging right at him, Councillor Mammolitti turned and fled, drawing
them after him.
"He really got chewed up," said
neighbour Lynn Waters. "I don't think he'll want to take his shirt off
now. Not with those scars."
--------
Fidel Castro to Endorse Megacity Election
Candidates
New York - As Fidel Castro's barge sailed into
New York for this week's World Millennium Summit the aging dictator revealed
a few secrets about his involvement in Toronto politics.
"Studying Toronto elections has
been a hobby of mine," Castro said. "This time I plan to come out and endorse
candidates."
When asked if that meant he would
be endorsing communist mayoral candidate John Steele, Castro replied saying,
"My decision is not firm. Mr. Lastman does have union endorsements and
may be the person to back."
--------
Tap Team Walker and Walker Running for Council
Councillor Michael Walker was upset
and angry when he discovered that a candidate named J. Walker had registered
to run in the same ward.
In the last election Peter Tabuns
went down to defeat after losing just about a 1000 votes to another unknown
Tabuns.
Investigation showed J. Walker to
be a 37-year-old businessman who makes a living selling dog chow. An angry
M. Walker went over to confront J. and there he discovered that J. was
in fact an old friend. Ten years ago the two were inseparable as the tap
dancing team Walker and Walker.
Now they are back together and are
dancing for the Megacity.
It doesn't matter who wins, the
two say. We're together again and that's what counts.
--------
Sex Scandal Muddies Beaches By-election Campaign
– Sept.19.2001
By PJ the Cat
In this issue
- Sex Scandal in Beaches By-election
- Prue's Staff Groupies says Liberal
- PC Candidate under Hunter Guns
- Green Candidate the Nude Candidate
Sex Scandal in Beaches By-election
It's voting day tomorrow in the provincial Beaches-East
York by-election so it's not surprising that candidates have reached out
to toss a little mud.
Liberal candidate Bob Hunter was the first to get hit
when opponents decided to get moral and attack him for a passage in a book
he wrote years ago. Back then Hunter confessed his patronage to teenage
Thai prostitutes.
Today the issue of his moral character is being thrown
back in his face and he regrets that confession.
"Those were kids he had sex with," says NDP candidate
Michael Prue. "The man is not of leadership caliber."
"Michael Prue should get real," Bob Hunter replied in
a phone conversation. "His people have got no business bringing that up.
It was a long time ago and I was in Thailand. I was working to aid the
environment and at the same time smoking dope and trying to make the right
moral choices. These young Thai prostitutes aren't girls, they're boys
undergoing sex changes. They're not adults. They're not kids and they can't
have babies. So what I did was the right thing."
--------
Prue's Staff Groupies says Liberal
Liberal Candidate Bob Hunter is fighting back against
opponents that have dug up dirt on his past sex life and use of prostitutes
… today on a walkout in East York he took direct aim at NDP candidate Michael
Prue.
Stopping out front of a Value grocery store, Hunter leaned
against a rack of vegetables and made his point. "I was up in the Arctic
battling ice floes and saving polar bears when Michael Prue was just a
little boy. Check my resume and you'll see who the real green candidate
is here in Beaches East York. I've earned every gray hair on my head. I
don't dye it that color like Prue does. What does he know about sex and
morality anyway. Sure the guy's a former mayor but he's always been more
like a movie star than a politician. Ask anyone and they'll tell you. Prue's
supporters are a bunch of groupies. The guy's a bum patter that surrounds
himself with sexy women. He doesn't know what it's like to be an unsightly
old environmentalist, but I think the voters in this riding do and they
can identify with me and my talents."
--------
PC Candidate under Hunter Guns
Beaches East York PC candidate Mac Penney is latest person
in that neighbourhood to come under attack from Liberal Candidate Bob Hunter.
Angered over dirt dug up on his sexual past, Hunter decided
to get even by hiring a detective.
At a lunch time scrum today at Starbucks, it was Mac Penney's
turn to suffer as Hunter released an undercover report on him.
"Just read this and then tell me what you think of this
guy," Hunter said as he waved the folio at a reporters. "I sent out a detective
to dig up dirt on this guy and he came back with nothing. No one out there
even knows who Mac Penney is. For all we know right now he could be one
of those sleeper terrorists that hide in local communities. I mean, this
guy says he a TV star on his resume. He did Counterspin and he worked for
Mike Harris … and in spite of that he's the biggest no name in this city.
Let me tell you this – I was doing media and radio and TV when Mac Penney
was just a little Tory squirt. When he was studying strip mining I was
out in the woods saving forests. I'm not a person that looks like another
one of the trees."
--------
Green Candidate the Nude Candidate
Beaches-East York Green Party candidate Peter Elgie runs
a higher profile than most greens. His father, Dr. Robert Elgie, was once
an M.P.P. and Tory cabinet minister for East York.
Running against green liberal Bob Hunter has also raised
Elgie's profile and Hunter's ire.
"I was flying with eagles when he was just a baby," Hunter
said today at Bluffer's Park. "When the waves roll in off the lake they
got my clean air stamp on them. Elgie is not a real green. The only thing
he's done of note is pose nude in the rainforest for a fundraising calendar.
Sure, I could do that, too. But I don't have to go to those lengths to
get attention. I've always been a person with a moral and spiritual side
that's bigger than nudity and sex."
Replying by phone on Hunter's comments, a Peter Elgie
staffer said," Bob Hunter is still green but only when it comes to politics.
He must be if he thinks the liberals are going to do anything good. As
far as the fundraising calendar goes. He ordered a copy of it, so I don't
know why he's complaining. If he won't pose nude himself that's probably
more because it would be cruelty to animals and not anything to do with
his spiritual nature."
--------
Beaches By-Election Report from PJ the Cat
– Sept.5.2001
In this issue
-NDP Candidate Michael Prue Stomped by Elephant
-Green Liberal Candidate Campaigns Door to Door
by Car
1. NDP Candidate Michael Prue Stomped by Elephant
Monday's Labour Day parade took on a strong
Beaches by-election flavour with workers throughout the event sporting
orange Michael Prue pocket stickers. Prue's supporters marched in the lead
on a route lined by telephone polls pasted with OCAP Fight to Win Images
… and to many people it must have looked like the Michael Prue Fight to
Win march.
A key part of Prue's worker strategy was to avoid marching
in the parade with the scrubbies. He stood at the review stand inside the
Exhibition gates with Howie, Jack, Olivia and Joe.
Trouble began when air show jets began roaring over an
Elephant ride across the road from the review stand. Worker chants and
drums combined with the noise of the planes to spook the elephants. It
got worse when a low flying formation caused one elephant to bolt. Knocking
his trainer aside the beast crashed through the fence with three children
on his back. He rushed through the crowd to the stand where Michael Prue
was waving to the folks in local 313. Seizing Prue with his trunk the elephant
slammed him down in front of horrified spectators, and stamped him with
his right foot.
"It stamped on him so hard his eyes nearly popped out,"
said Councillor Joe Mihevc.
"We've given Prue a million dollars worth of free publicity,"
said a frustrated Howard Hampton. "Count on us having him back together
and limping toward the finish line in this campaign."
-------
2. Green Liberal Candidate Campaigns Door to Door by Car
Beaches-East York liberal candidate
Bob Hunter has a strong environmental background as a green reporter for
City TV and Eye Magazine … and in this campaign he's caught many people
by surprise by campaigning door to door by auto.
Led by a police escort Hunter is cruising neighbourhood
streets in a refurbished '59 Corvette. Despite its powerful gasoline engine,
the race car is also a mean green machine. Its development sponsored by
the federal government, it features a hood ornament wind daisy that powers
the onboard cigarette lighter.
We questioned Hunter on the curb at Maple Street. "The
race car is a peacemaker," said Hunter. "I want people to know that you
can love cars and be green, too. I've said as much before in my Eye column."
Asked about the police escort Hunter said, "The
police have always done favours for City TV and that carries over to employees
like me."
But some neighbours disagreed. "Those officers are
getting out of the car and staring down people with NDP lawn signs," said
local resident Marvin Wilson. "It's intimidation is what it is. Hunter
will having us living in a green police state where cops drive race cars."
---------
* Voting Day for a new Ontario MPP in Beaches-East
York is September 20.
Related Web Site - Elect Michael Prue September 20
http://www.michaelprue.org/
----------
Pet Bylaw Protest Page - http://www.geocities.com/Petsburgh/8401/
PJ the Cat says Poop on Councilor George Mammoliti
- Friday, May 26, 2000
Felines and feline loving residents of Toronto, join me
(PJ the Cat) in my
campaign against Councilor George Mammoliti and his forces of anti animal
cat trapping evil.
Details - Councillor George Mammoliti plans to
take us back to the dark ages by planting baited traps in backyard
gardens to capture helpless kitties. He then plans to turn us over to the
city's animal services department to have us put down.
If George is concerned about cat crap, then maybe it's
time we crapped on him and city council, which is what they do to us most
of the time. I will be gathering the names of all councilors supporting
Mammoliti here at my web page at http://www.megacityelection.com
and I will be bulk e-mailing all Toronto residents during the upcoming
election, asking them to help me oust anti cat councilors.
In the Toronto Sun Mammoliti says,"If
I have to hide behind the gardens and tomatoes and meow to get them into
the cages, I'll do it."
Well he better hope it isn't me he finds behind there
because I'll scratch his rotten eyes out - should he dare touch me.
Councilor Mammoliti has failed to do a basic study on
nuisance cat control and due to it he is way out of line. Traps are cruel
and unnecessary. Fines, pound fees and anti-feline roaming laws are also
not needed.
Traps are baited and lure the animal onto the property
and when you are snatching someone's family pet that is kidnapping.
Unwanted cats can be easily repelled with simple substances.
Ropel granules are time-released granules, which can be spread to repel
cats. The smell of the granule is mild but irritating to cats. Defense
Buds are small objects, which are hung on plants or shrubs to create an
invisible fence that the cats do not like to cross. Defense buds are time
released. Ropel Liquid will stop cats from scratching fences and so on.
A special enzyme called Dawgon Odor Neutralizer removes the smell of dog
or cat urine and feces.
Tell Mammoliti he's a piece of poop.
Contact him at City Hall,100 Queen St. West, Suite
B27,Toronto, M5H 2N2, Phone: (416) 395-6401, Fax: (416) 392-4120
councillor_mammoliti@city.toronto.on.ca
---------
Justice Minister to Toughen Animal Cruelty
Laws - Nov/99 - People who torture animals will face longer
prison terms and stiffer fines in new federal legislation to crack down
on animal abusers.
Justice Minister Anne McLellan is expected to introduce the bill next
week.
The changes will:
Raise the maximum sentence for intentional cruelty to five years imprisonment.
Remove the current $2,000 limit on fines so that judges can impose
whatever amount they see fit.
Give judges the power to order anyone guilty of animal cruelty to pay
restitution to the humane society that cared for the animal.
Allow for permanent animal ownership bans.
Make it illegal to brutally or viciously kill an animal.
A key premise of the tougher law is that all animals can
feel pain and are deserving of legal protection from negligence or intentional
cruelty.
---------
Animal Liberation Front Liberate 46 Dogs From
California Research Lab Animal Supplier
- SEP-1999
Orange County, CA - On August 29, 1999 the Animal
Liberation Front entered a building which houses and vivisects dogs. Inside
they located forty-six dogs in various states of health, and liberated
all of them. The A.L.F. also claim to have damaged the building, where
spray-painted slogans were left on the walls with messages that included
"Animal Liberation" and "Vivisection is Fraud". The A.L.F. state that some
of the dogs were injured from surgeries, but that all have been checked
out by a qualified veterinarian and are now placed in good homes.
Because vivisection is nothing more
than economically-induced scientific fraud the Animal Liberation Front
targeted a supplier of dogs to research laboratories, many of whom were
stolen or falsely acquired from homes. This liberation is dedicated to
Alex Slack, a true animal liberationist victimized by the federal government,
who chose to take his own life rather than betray his friends and the animals.
As long as animals are exploited, tortured, and killed for profit there
will be an ALF.
"This is truly a remarkable animal
raid." comments David Barbarash, A.L.F. spokesperson, "We have not only
witnessed a large amount of dogs being taken, perhaps even a first in the
history of animal liberation actions in North America, but that we are
seeing an incredible increase of animal liberations in 1999."
This is the third liberation of
animals this year, following closely on the heels of the release of Annie,
a stump-tailed macaque primate from a Long Island, NY pet store two days
previous to this raid on Aug. 27, and the release of hundreds of animals
from the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis in April.
North American Animal Liberation Front Press
Office ("The Voice of the ALF")
David Barbarash, spokesperson Email: naalfpo@tao.ca
http://www.enviroweb.org/ALFIS/media/naalfpo.html
--------
Toronto Homeless Pets Problem Easily Solved
-
July 4, 1999
The huge success of yesterday's
pet giveaway at the Humane Society clearly reveals that there would be
no homeless pet problem if pets were given free to low income people.
I emailed news of the pet giveaway
to most groups in Toronto dealing with the poor. Many people went down
to get the pets. And even more came due to other media.
Now we know that this is a political
problem and that Megacity council could easily solve it. Why isn't that
being done through a free pets and pet services program for the poor? And
why aren't the nasty Harris tenant laws being changed as part of the municipal/federal/
provincial attempt to cooperate on housing?
The number one reason pets were
homeless was Harris' Tenant Tribunal and its rubber-stamping of evictions.
Many landlords are targeting tenants who keep pets with the Harris easy
eviction law. The number two reason was that the city has no program to
provide pets and pet medical services to the poor.
--------
Toronto Humane Society Pet Giveaway - July
2/99
The
Harris tenant laws have led to many evictions and as a result the Toronto
Humane Society is overloaded with 400 cats and dogs of all ages. This weekend
the society is giving away pets free, meaning no charge. Get down and pick
up a pet tomorrow. Also e-mail your councilor reminding them that there
wouldn?t be a crisis if pets were given away free to low income people
all of the time. E-mail lists for council are at the bottom of the PJ the
Cat page.
-------
Toronto Humane Society -
Adopt a Cat.
Toronto Humane Society, 11 River Street
Toronto, Ontario
CANADA M5A 4C2
phone: 416-392-2273
fax: 416-392-9978
--------
Other Adopt a Pet Agencies
Animal Crusaders Adopt a Cat call - 416 264 0805
Adopt a Pet - 416-750 3048
Toronto Annex Cat Rescue 416 530 4144
-------
Toronto Humane Society Satellite
Cat Adoption Locations
-------
Pet Bylaw Still Has Claws that Rip up the Poor
and Pets - By PJ the Cat Feb5/99
The complete by-law is on the
City website
The Pet Bylaw even with many amendments
put in by councilors is still clearly a cash grab and the money is being
collected to fund other areas. Though the city is now raking in dough for
license fees, the fee is not being reduced or removed for low-income people.
The fee also does not include microchip identification. Under the Bylaw
a pet that hasn't been spayed/neutered or been given a microchip is $35
a year. The license price can be reduced to $25 a year if your animal gets
a microchip and to $15 if it's spayed or neutered. Registration is free
for everyone who has had both operations performed on their pet.
City councilors and animal officials
complain that only 6 percent of cats are reclaimed after they go to the
pound, but they still want to take them into custody. The main reason animals
aren?t claimed is that the cost is simply outrageous. Bailing your dog
out of the pound is $40 for the first day and an additional $20 day thereafter.
Cats are $30 for their first day and $10 for every day that follows.
A third key problem is that the
amended bylaw is already being misinterpreted by those who want severe
laws. Under the law - As of July 1, the city can impound or euthanize errant
cats, though the amended Bylaw says that a wandering cat may be impounded
only if it is causing damage, creating a nuisance, or in distress,
injured and unidentifiable. Animal control supposedly won?t act unless
there is a complaint. Yet Councilor Irene Jones is already twisting this
in her statement that a complaint from a neighbour is all that is needed
for a cat to be picked up. There is also a question as to what a cat must
do to be causing a nuisance. Is simply meowing causing a disturbance? Are
footprints damage?
Residents must make sure they challenge
animal control, nasties and the city on every aspect of this Bylaw. If
they pick up your cat sue them and make them prove it was being a nuisance.
There is a big advantage in legal tests because Judges have always ruled
in favour of cats being free to roam. Perhaps one or two people taking
solid legal action will be able to lay this law to rest.
Another area that should be challenged
- There isn?t an allowance for people who rescue cats (See
PAWS) as they would be limited to owning six pets and would be expected
to pay a license fee. The six-pet rule itself could also be challenged
in court.
Council voted 36-13 to pass the
final draft of the animal control bylaw. I intend to get the voting record
on this issue and post it on the web.
Irene Jones was the biggest supporter
of the Bylaw councillor_jones@city.toronto.on.ca
George Mammoliti wants even tougher
laws councillor_mammoliti@city.toronto.on.ca
Councilor Filion was a big supporter
of the law councillor_flint@city.toronto.on.ca
Councilor Anne Johnson was its chief
opponent councillor_johnston@city.toronto.on.ca
--------
PJ the Cat to keep protesting the Megacity Pet Bylaw - Feb/99
So they?re voting the bylaw through tonight and cats will no longer be able to roam without fear of arrest by the City. Well - Big fat rats breed more big fat rats and in this case it is Megashitty Council with a new pet bylaw drafted by bureaucrat Rats.
You can be sure there are going to be mice and rats running wild in this city once us cats can?t get at them and kill them.
You might also say this law was partially written by vicious dogs as under it they are allowed one free bite. Apparently council thinks many dogs can just get a taste of blood and then stop.
And who did council listen to? - not citizens and not me, that?s for sure. Folks who e-mailed and wrote letters got no reply. And though huge numbers phoned to oppose the law regarding cats, they chose to ignore those calls. They paid little attention to the media either, as they didn?t notice that just about every paper and TV station has opposed the law in one way or another.
Call it animal control if you will - these fat Councilors will be like pied pipers leading their armies of fat rats about and making sure that no one is in possession of snakes that grow longer than three metres and lizards that grow longer than two metres and tarantulas, gorillas, porcupines, monkeys, sloths and jackasses. I suppose you?ve all heard that the whales have been saved by Megacity Council and the Board of Health. That?s right - whales have been taken off the illegal pets? list.
If you see bulging pockets on these pied pipers they are because councilors have fat wallets from pet registration fees of $35 per pet.
So what can PJ the Cat do to keep up the fight? Now that I?m grown up I?m just a house cat and I don?t go outdoors or fight at all much anymore? Guess that means I?d make the perfect councilor - a useless fat twit who has lost whatever ooomph he had.
But I?m a thinker, too. I know a lot of my friends will get put to sleep by owners who don?t want them indoors all the time. And the kittens will get theirs at the pound because not many people will want cats that can?t go outside and are expensive. My other friends will get fat indoors as they don?t eat health food like I do. And of course the pet food lobby that paid off council in order to get this law will grow rich from increased sales of junk cat food.
Yes I?m a thinker and I see the problem and a way to keep up the fight. The way to do it is through community. Fellow citizens, just get the residents on your block to meet and agree that cats can roam. Call your neighbours or put up a sign on some telephone polls and try to arrange a meeting so residents can reclaim their rights to pets and shut the Megashitty out.
To raise money to support the cause I suggest selling Beware of the Cat signs for ten dollars each. Citizens can also strike back against councilors, by putting up No Trespassing Councilors Allowed signs on their front yards. Hit them where it hurts. Let?s charge them with roaming and trespassing - tell them off and kick them off the property.
That?s all for now. So try to keep out of jail.
Sincerely,
PJ the Cat
--------
Dear Megacity Council,
Please to don't Vote
to Have ME ARRESTED. I Know I did wrong when I upset that old witch's Garbage
Can. Vote against arresting cats for roaming.
PJ the Cat Burglar
--------
A
message from PJ - Lobbyists for Purina and other cat food companies
have lobbied city council, using big bucks to buy this bylaw. They want
all cats locked indoors where they'll grow lazy and fat as they eat as
much as 20 percent more fatty pet food per day. I get my exercise and eat
only heath food. Help me foil this plot by the Pet food lobby.
Urge your councilor to
vote against the Pet Bylaw Next Week (first week of February 1999) as many
cats could be made homeless by this new law that calls for licenses and
fines. Poor and low income people will no longer be able to afford cats.
Nuts from North York are behind this plot so don't forget it.
E-mail addresses for city council are at the
bottom of this page.
--------Megacity
& Board of Health Pet 'nappers
If
one thing was clear during the first round of media attention on the proposed
new pet bylaw for Megacity, it was that the majority of citizens do not
want cats picked up for roaming. I also doubt that the majority supports
licenses for cats. Now we have Councilor Filion trying to bamboozle us
again, saying that the wording will be changed so it doesn't say roaming
cats will be euthanized. And this will address the concerns of citizens.
As a citizen I am concerned that
this whole thing is just a money grab that victimizes pet owners and especially
low income pet owners who can't pay a license fee or roaming fines.
In the beginning the media focussed
on the evils of feline trespassing and featured people using baited traps
to attract cats onto their property. But the Board of Health is not concerned
about pleasing these people at all - this is enforcement and collection.
Your cat could well be on your lawn or windowsill when the Megacity pet
'nappers grab her. And the reason for the snatch is money - to bill you
for the license fee you may not have paid and to collect money in fines.
Like the Mafia, the Board of Health and Megacity know that people who won't
pay fines will pay ransom.
It is clear the Board needs cash
to spend in other areas --victimizing pet owners is not the way to do it.
So let's remind them that there's a political price they will pay if they
don't toss this law in the litter box where it belongs.
--------
Mega-Pet Bylaw in a Nutshell By Gary Morton
Like most city residents I
dislike the proposed Megacity pet bylaw. This attempt to merge bylaws of
the former six cities has produced a monster. Since threatening to protest
at council has done little for me I suppose I?ll have to resort to reason
on this issue.
--Exotic Pets, the rules are so strict
they may force some pet stores out of business. Guidelines should be formulated
with genuine input from people who actually keep exotic pets. Instead the
mayor and the board of health are at odds with them.
--The Six Pet Rule, Pet owners would be
limited to a combination of six dogs, cats, rabbits and ferrets. Of the
total, only three can be dogs. This seems like a rule without a real
basis in reality. Many people do keep large numbers of pets at home without
harming others. A person who was both wealthy and eccentric could easily
manage many pets. The real issue is care - are the pets receiving proper
care? The bylaw does not address care.
--Vicious Dogs, the reason for study on
a new bylaw was that owners of small animals and other citizens wanted
protection from vicious dogs. Yet the bylaw does little to file down the
teeth of snappers. Dogs are allowed one free bite before they must be muzzled.
--Enforcement, nearly all aspects of the
new law are hard to enforce and John Filion, health board chairman and
councillor for North York Centre is now saying some aspects won?t be enforced.
Why are laws that won?t be enforced being passed at all?
--Fees, City Hall now wants us to pay
a 35-dollar license fee per pet per year, yet there is no provision to
aid people on low incomes. In the case of cats taken in on roaming charges
people have to pay to get them out and for micro-chipping and ten dollars
a day boarding. What that means is that even if the humane society notifies
an owner that the pet has been seized, the owner may not be able to afford
to get the pet out. After bad financial experiences with pets, many people
won?t take cats at all and there will be many more that can?t find homes.
People will likely prefer dogs and dog bites are what the law was supposed
to curb.
--Cats, Felines have now become carriers
of plague, innocents that must be protected and villainous trespassers.
Some animal activists want cats forced indoors because they may get rabies
from raccoons and pass the disease to humans. The truth is that cats get
shots for rabies and if there is a raccoon problem, then the raccoons should
be captured.
The law also encourages cat trapping
in backyard cages, and this is a cruel practice. These cage traps are baited
with nip and tuna and act as lures, drawing cats onto property to get trapped.
Nasty people with nasty motives will take advantage of cat trapping. The
law also ignores the fact that the cat is a predator who follows instinct
and not human boundary lines. It is a law of nature that cats roam and
a law of humans that this has been recognized for many years.
There are people who say cats poop
in their gardens but these people are mostly full of poop themselves. Nearly
all cats have an indoor litter box that they prefer. Many cats roam outside
because they have owners who can?t properly care for them if they are indoors
all of the time. Force cats indoors and some owners won?t want them. The
rest will live longer and cause a further decrease in the demand for kittens
at the pound.
Road kill and coyotes are the next
problems. Cars do hit cats, but we live in a city where even people are
not safe. It is poor urban design and we shouldn?t justify it by hiding
underground with our pets. As for coyotes, I?ve never seen one in the city.
They are about as common as werewolves. If they are about then we should
deal with the coyote problem and not trap cats because of it. Some animal
activists want to deprive coyotes of cats to feed on. But if we killed
every bird and small animal in Toronto in an attempt to starve the coyotes
to death, we?d find that Wily Coyote in the city eats only garbage.
--Solution, We would do better to not
force things. The city could recommend that cats be kept indoors and that
people not keep too many pets or exotic animals or breeds of dogs known
to be vicious. Trapping shouldn?t be allowed and there shouldn?t be license
fees. Micro-chipping should be mandatory, with a lower price for people
with more than one pet. The Board of Health could set up a new complaints
procedure for dealing with people don?t care properly for pets.
In the end it looks like
councilors Filion and Jones have pulled this bylaw out of a nutshell. Perhaps
they should be put back in with it.
==============
Get the Megacity Out of my Doghouse By
Gary Morton
Oppose Stupid Bylaw -- The public will be given
a chance to speak on the new Toronto Pet bylaw at a Nov. 16 special meeting
of the Board of Health, before the proposed bylaw goes to city council
for approval.
Last week I stepped out my door in my shorts and
was surprised by a cop poking around my backyard. "I'm looking for a woman
trespassing," the cop said.
"I could use a woman, too." I said, then went back inside.
Next year if men in uniform are in my back yard they'll
likely be animal control guys, saying," We're looking for a cat trespassing
- or we're here to muzzle the dog."
The Megacity has now jumped into everyone's dog house and litter box. Cats must be prohibited from roaming, they say, because they could get rabies from a raccoon. Since cats already are needled for rabies I'm not quite sure how that would happen. In a city where you can't step off a curb without nearly getting road killed, city hall wants to protect us from trespassing cats. That's assuming there is any such thing as a trespassing cat. Apparently the Board of Health came up with this and they quote an animal rights activist on the rabies scare. Personally I'm glad the activist mentioned isn't in the human rights field because I don't want her to gain us the right to be caught in traps, arrested and euthanized.
There are six raccoons often on the fence in my backyard, so I suppose they will watch as cats are trapped and carted off. After all, they've been watching and screeching for years and no one carted them or their friends the skunks away.
City Hall now wants us to pay a 35-dollar license fee, yet there is no provision to aid people on low incomes, so I guess there will be more homeless cats. How does this help in the city problem of too many homeless cats the bylaw is supposed to address? And licenses aren't the way to go anyway - cats should be microchipped and wearing a collar with a name/address tag.
I really have to wonder how all this will work. Will animal control officers just snatch roaming kitties and euthanize them? -- or will they go by the book and the city will need an army of backyard trapper cops to nail cats and muzzle dogs and make sure no one has more than six pets or illegal brands of turtles in their possession?
City Hall and activists would ultimately like to see cats kept inside -- that is what the bylaw is supposed to do. Only problem is that indoor cats live 18 years as compared to 3 to 5 for outdoor city cats. Once they are mostly indoors the demand for cats at the pound will be greatly diminished and there will be more kittens to euthanize. And what about the many poor felines who have lousy owners and rely on their time outdoors to get proper water, food and affection?
Then there is the limit on the number of pets you can keep. I was just talking to a friend from the Ontario Coalition Against Poverty. (For his protection I will not reveal his name in the piece) He says he has 11 cats and a dog. He ain't going to pay and his cats aren't going to obey trespass laws.
But of course some neighbour with a grudge will likely report him eventually, and there'll be cops muzzling his dog and seizing his cats and he'll be screaming,"Get the Megacity out of my doghouse! Out of my litter box and out of my backyard!"
Isn't it true that democracy is admitting that you can't
govern back yards from the ivory tower? People should go down to that meeting
in November and kick up some dog doo over this silly law
----------------