Memo to PJ 
From Quadesh the Tiger

   PJ, old friend … you’ve probably heard of my recent escape and walkabout in Durham.  It drew a lot of news coverage, but as always the corporate media missed the most important part of the story.

   Around noon that day I came across a weather beaten cabin in the bush. Peeking inside I saw an armed hunter shelving huge boxes of ammunition. Sneaking around the north side, I went through the open door and knocked him cold with one smack of my mighty paw. Over at the kitchen table I swallowed his lunch and then read a letter he’d been studying. It was from the hunters and anglers and boasted of the kills they will be making when the Mike Harris-less Tories return and put through RIGHT TO HUNT legislation in April.

   A second note invites him to a Tory leadership debate at a hotel in Toronto. A warning contained in it says that the Sierra Club and Freedom for Animals might be there handing out dangerous literature in opposition to the Right to Hunt. 

   Maybe you can get to that event and get the facts on this hunters’ conspiracy. Keep in mind that time is short. Thousands of killers are polishing their weapons right now.

Bye for now,
Quadesh
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The Hotel of Tory Death

   The Tory gathering was at the Crown Plaza way down past the OFL building. I arrived at the rear in descending darkness, figuring they wouldn’t let a cat in at the front. Jumping the fence I hurried through an icy parking lot and strutted along a second wall. Banks of rooms loomed out of the twilight and ahead I could see broad windows and the brightly lit area above the ballroom.

   I could hear chants and beyond the glass a huge mob of Tory supporters leapt up and down like cheerleaders … all of them wearing tacky orange over-jackets that made for a blinding display.

   Shouts of Flaherty! Flaherty! Flaherty! Go, Jim, Go! assaulted my ears as I slipped in through a side door and popped up to a safe area of shelving. After catching my breath I looked below at the sinister group of Tories hanging out in this backroom. These being well dressed white males with cell phones of such an expensive nature that they looked more like remote control computer devices … and for a moment I considered that maybe they were that and these guys could push buttons and get the idiot mob to leap, dance and shout Liz! Liz! Liz! or Flaherty! Flaherty! Flaherty! 

   I also had thoughts on what a ridiculous society we have created, to select our leaders in a juvenile and corrupt manner like this. Then I listened as the slickest looking guy told the others not to forget about the agreement to keep Walkerton out of the debate.

   The door opened, so I bounded down and headed into the action. A moment later I was in the crush of remote-controlled Tory supporters as they continued to cheerlead and scream Flaherty! Flaherty! Flaherty! Go, Jim, Go! It dizzied me so I bit some ankles and got over to a couch. From there I saw Flaherty himself in the swimming orange haze. His hair looked freshly dyed and styled as did his grin. His supporters’ signs kept blocking my view, and these were the most unoriginal signs ever. Nothing but Flaherty in large letters stamped on bright orange cardboard. A little kid with a magic marker could have done something better.

   A small commotion was happening next to me in the only other seat. There a woman had fainted from a medical problem of some sort and a few paramedics had arrived. As she fanned herself weakly, looking like she was either going to vomit or expire, cheerleading Tories screaming Flaherty! Flaherty! Flaherty! Go, Jim, Go! danced madly in front of her, not caring about her at all and making it difficult for her to be moved or treated.

   It was a true statement on Tory healthcare policies. These are people that want to dance and cheer while you’re dying, and then go off hunting in the field next to the graveyard you’re buried in.

   The whole thing made me sick. Running through the lobby, I bounded out the front entrance and went down the hill. There at the traffic entrance some people from the Sierra Club and Freedom for Animals held signs and a banner and passed flyers to the cars entering for the debate. The banner said Right to Clean Water Now! Not the Right to Hunt. One survey flyer started off with the line – Bad air, Bad Water, Bad Traffic, Bad Government.

   I jumped to the fence, dug my claws into a Flaherty sign and there under a rising new moon it came to me. With all the damage these Tories have done to Ontario, it’s not the right to hunt that we need. What we should be lobbying for is the RIGHT TO HUNT TORIES, so we can get rid of them before they destroy us and our environment completely.

   So how about this for a flyer idea – we redo that old flyer that featured a bald Mike Harris and opposed clear cutting Ontario’s forests … redo it into a new one with a bald version of their leadership winner, paint a target on the forehead and caption it Stop the Clear Cutting of Ontario’s Wildlife, Give Us THE RIGHT TO HUNT TORIES.

So long for now,
PJ
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