The Hair Poll for Canadian Election 2011

By Gary L Morton, May 1, 2011

http://photosc.msspro.com/fedelect/index.htm 

I’ve been trying to make sense of this election and went back to look at all the polls. Round about April 15^th the polls showed the NDP climbing nearly straight up. Ipsos-Reid, which was considered unreliable at that time showed the NDP climbing even before the debate. And if the leadership debate was the deciding factor why did the change occur in poll numbers two or three days later.

My conclusion is hair. They’ve long said that the candidate with the most hair wins. But this time things have changed. Looking closely at videos of the debate I came to these conclusions.

 In politics unlike other occupations gray means leadership and trust. Stephen Harper has the most hair and they say that wins. He is still ahead a bit. But in this case the difference is his hair isn’t real. You can see that either he had a hair transplant of 120 percent and did a good gray-black dye job, or he’s wearing a clever rug. I vote on rug because the hairline cuts too close at the temples and crown. Those voters with discerning eyes consciously or unconsciously spot Harper’s rug and realize he’s phony.

Gilles Duceppe may be on the wan in Quebec because of his perfect transplant and lack of a dye job. Look at that magnificent crown of glorious gray hair matched with his pinned suit. Does it spell Quebec Independence or the fact he really believes in his own beauty rather than social justice.

Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff is tall dark and handsome but his mix of gray black hair showed as a bit scruffy. It doesn’t fill his temples and crown quite right and tells the voters quietly that at his age it’s either a poorly done transplant or badly managed natural hair.

Canadians are good people and consider things; it was after the leadership debate by a couple days that the majority of polls showed Jack Layton and the NDP rising. This may well be because in both close-ups and distant shots he comes across as a real man with natural hair loss. He looks good in spite of it and seems confident where other men would fear for their sexual potency. That may also come into play as any candidate could probably be fingered for some sexual misconduct during his or her lifetime. We are all human after all, but Sun Media chose Layton even if they had to go back fifteen years. Looking lame and impotent is not a good thing as hidden psychological signals tell voters that other candidates that look more potent are the leaders. Thus Harper and Ignatieff lost from the Sun manufactured Layton scandal.

When all is said and done here, Jack’s competitors are dressing their hair and hoping the ladies and others who may be attracted will notice and vote.

I think Jack Layton is doing well in Quebec because people there are quicker at spotting phonies. They have an eye for fake hair and politicians that want to be sexy and yet say they never had sex … at least not in their lifetimes.

As Harper and Ignatieff prepare to embrace tree trunks and tell them of their deep love for their own hair, the French believe in the naturally balding guy and that his lack of fake hair tells the truth.