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NDP Infects my Daughter
From: jake.landry@quebec.org Dear Spin-blog Doctor, I came home after getting stuck in the snow, only to find my daughter acting strange. Her room was lit with an orange light and her 19 inch computer monitor was done in NDP wallpaper. Apparently she’s been converted by the NDP, and she’s been out 12 hours a day flyering with weird long-haired guys. I hate the NDP and that Jack guy. What can I do to stop this?
Please answer quickly. Okay, I’ll answer quickly. By the by, it’s nice to get a letter coming in from a Frog …. uh, sorry if I offended you, I really meant French person and with this damn automated blog software I can’t correct the mistake online. Now, for your daughter. You must act quickly; your daughter has been infected by a virus contained in a download of NDP wallpaper software she picked up at the NDP website. The effects are immediate and can be long lasting. If you don’t break the cycle your daughter will become a life long socialist and semi employed factory worker. Do a search with google for NDP removal software, and that will take out the wallpaper and infection. When your daughter returns home, increase her allowance by a huge amount. Get her buying CDs, DVDs, clothes … shower her with concert tickets. Keep her busy and commercialized and within three days she will forget her NDP friends and be completely cured. --------------------------------------------------- My Son is Spouting Liberal Propaganda
From:
fred.manningbanning@alberta.com Dear Spin-blog Doctor, Something strange has happened to my son Danny. Up until this week he was a normal business student. Now he’s put a huge Canadian flag in his window and he’s on his Blackberry all the time. When I asked him who he’s talking to he says fellow liberals. Danny was never into politics before. He goes out all hours now and continuously spouts liberal propaganda about the Charter of Rights and how he admires Paul Martin’s defence of the Charter. Liberals suck and I can’t stand Paul Martin and his gay marriage charter crap. What can I do to end this?
Thanks, Fred, unfortunately for you it’s too late. Youthful endorsements of the Charter of Rights and Liberals are teen code for “I’m gay, I’m out of the closet … and I’m probably going to get married.” Your son Danny not only has Liberals on his side, but also the courts, the House of Commons and some churches.
You may want to find a counselor, not
for your son but for yourself. Maybe try Jack Layton … He’ll tell you
how joyous you son will be on the day he has that wedding ring. Other
than that you’d have to head Stephen Harper’s way. He has a feel good
plan – another free vote in the commons on the issue that will give
folks like you a last chance to speak out against gay marriage. Tory Freaks Took over My House
From:
albert.peabody@torstar.com Dear Spin-blog Doctor, I came home from my job at the newspaper and my hair nearly fell out when my son answered the door. He’s an arts student and never wore anything dressier that jeans in his life. Now he wears a blue suit and has a Tory watch, lapel pin and attaché case. My house is filled with Conservative Party flacks and right now they’re sitting under a Tory label sun umbrella on my enclosed patio. I really don’t know how this came about and I’m worried that my friends at the Star will find out. My son James is completely out of line now. He bangs his fist at the dinner table and forces angry debates on issues like gun control and healthcare. All the time he shouts that He’s Standing Up For Canada!
Sincerely, Spin-blog Doctor Replies, Your son James has been infected by a C boutique Trojan that downloads when people buy products at the Conservative website. You could just leave it and let your son become a very commercial artist, and live with the embarrassment of it … or you could take action. Cut off his allowance immediately and remove any money or credit cards from his wallet. Toss those infected Tory products he bought. Put a liberal sign in his window. His freeloading Tory friends will leave quickly when they find that he is not upscale like them. At that point you can work on deprogramming him. Unfortunately this Tory bug is a nasty one and it will take about two weeks. ---------------------------------- |
